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Resources for self-compassion, self-love, and confidence

Improving confidence, finding self-love, being kinder to ourselves, seeing our value, feeling comfortable in our own skin… There are so many ways to point at this common goal with words. Here is a list of resources that I’ve used and recommended.

To choose a book, I would recommend visiting the page for any book that calls to you, and reading the description, and perhaps the author’s bio, and seeing if any you feel any resonance or draw to the book. Start with the one that calls to you the most.



Soul Without Shame (Byron Brown)

This book teaches us how to deal with and overcome the inner “judge” – the part of ourselves that is overly critical, unfair, and damaging to our self-worth. I found it to be a good mix of spiritual and cognitive approaches. It is based on the premise that our soul is inherently and fundamentally valuable. I list it first because it helped me a lot personally when I was around 30 years old.

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions (Christopher Germer)

Perfect Love Imperfect Relationships (John Welwood)

Self-Esteem (McKay and Fanning)

A classic, time-tested cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) based book on thinking about yourself in a healthy way. It contains a lot of exercises.

Self-Compassion (Kristen Neff)

The Confidence Gap (Russ Harris)

A book that I think will both provide understanding of ACT fundamentals as well as apply them specifically to self-confidence, which almost all of us struggle with at times.

Undefended Love (Psaris and Lyons)

Home Coming (John Bradshaw)

Healing The Shame That Binds You (John Bradshaw)


I plan to add to this list over time. If you have found a resource for self-love / confidence / etc that has helped you, please feel free to leave it in the comments section!

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