You are currently viewing Resources for a creating a healthy relationship to anger

Resources for a creating a healthy relationship to anger


The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner

Although this book is specifically written for women, it was one of the first books I read on anger and I found it very well-written, concise, and helpful for understanding anger in general, especially in the context of relationships. I’d therefore recommend it to both men and women.

Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More out of Life by Thomas J. Harbin

This is a quintessential anger management book. It’s written for men and the layperson and I think it does a nice job of illuminating the underlying sources of anger and ways to channel it constructively.

Taming the Tiger Within by Thich Nhat Hanh

A Buddhist approach to dealing with anger and other difficult emotions.

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Marshall B. Rosenberg

A lot of what underlies anger is unmet needs and unacknowledged emotions. Nonviolent communication is about how to peacefully yet productively talk with others about meeting each other’s needs in relationships and situations. If needs are met and all parties are understood, anger in that relationship typically ceases or diminishes.

The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships by Randy J Paterson PhD

Assertiveness is a style of interaction that seeks to meet the needs of all parties involved. Anger often results in aggression, passivity, or passive-aggression. This book explains all 4 styles and how to be assertive, which is a higher response to anger.

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions by Christopher Germer

What does self-compassion have to do with anger? Sometimes anger is due to a failure to grieve disappointment, often by being angry at ourselves for not succeeding despite our best efforts (which is unfair to us). Anger is sometimes called the second stage of grief, after disbelief. Grief happens not only in response to the big losses in life, but the day-to-day and week-to-week small ones too. This anger is then often displaced onto others in unhelpful ways. So, practicing self-compassion when appropriate is an important approach to processing anger.


Dealing With Anger, Resistance And Pessimism | Eckhart Tolle

Two Approaches to Anger | Rupert Spira

A conversation shedding light on the Vedantic versus Tantric approach to feelings like anger or guilt

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