This post is the text of a video essay I've hosted on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/1nr4maTiFQE Love vs relationship I like the idea that anyone can love anyone, regardless of their…
This post is the text of a video essay I've hosted on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsXtYOWf-e0 Introduction What leads to a nourishing intimate relationship? What makes a relationship work? It’s a…
This post is the text of a video essay I've hosted on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/rFBa3utVVOo Most adults have been hurt in romantic relationships in the past. When we’re young and…
“Human beings draw close to one another by their common nature, but habits and customs keep them apart.”Confucius Every so often, a client will bring up fears or anger surrounding…
In relationships, we tend to start with solutions and problem solving, rather than deep understanding of the other person’s needs. We have a need, and our imagination quickly offers up…
Trust each person to have emotions that are appropriate for them. People often assume that different emotions about the same event means wrong emotions. But everyone is experiencing their emotions based…
Anytime there are conflicting human needs in which a course of action benefits one group and hurts another, and one party dismisses the other with, “it’s not just about you,”…
True compassion can never be forced from someone under duress. It can never be coerced and pried from a person's heart. Only bitter compliance can be obtained this way, accompanied…
I just watched and wanted to comment on this Ted Talk by Johann Hari. I remember hearing this speaker on Sam Harris's podcast months ago and feeling unusually engaged. I…
Fights take energy to start and escalate, and they also take energy to stop. Wars, be they between nations or tribes or individuals, have inertia. This applies to couples in…