There are so many roads not taken “that have made all the difference” (Robert Frost)… but do they all? How would we even know? Maybe there would have been very little difference. Maybe the other path would have been way more spectacular, or way worse. We can’t know. We can only know the path we took, and guess at the alternatives.
It is reasonable to guess which of our habits helped us, and which did not. These are like diverging paths that are just a few degrees off from each other at each fork, and add up incrementally. But the big choices — like where to attend college, who to partner up with and who to turn down, what state to live in — these choices are like 90-180 degree forks that send us in totally different directions. In these cases, I think we can only speculate what the “road not taken” would have been like. Regret and FOMO about paths not taken is common and rather normal, but it’s helpful to realize that they are only daydreams, because the actual “missed experience” never existed and never will. Go ahead and imagine the missed journey you never took, and how wonderful or horrible it would have been. But remember that you are imagining!
Whatever road is taken, be kind to yourself each step along the way. We don’t know what is going to happen. We might lose money, friends, a partner, family, or health. We might lose status and reputation. But one thing we don’t lose, is the love that we have invested in ourselves. How well we’ve taken care of ourselves. How much we have enjoyed learning, adventure, and wisdom acquisition. Life is quite short in retrospect. Would it be possible to have many regrets at the end if we made sure to diligently enjoy each step of the journey?