Trust each person to have emotions that are appropriate for them. People often assume that different emotions about the same event means wrong emotions. But everyone is experiencing their emotions based on:
- Their genes
- Their life experience to date
- Their current context
All of these may be very different from ours. If we want peace, we must accept that. We can try to educate others and advance our agendas and perspectives, but we should not mentally make ourselves so significant that we think we know better what emotions another completely different individual “should” be having in response to a particular event or circumstance.
If we don’t trust each other to have the correct emotions for them, we become their emotional nannies, micro-managers, and bullies. And there is no way to take on these roles without making our peace and contentment dependent on the emotional states of another.
This is true whoever the person is – a friend, co-worker, family member, partner, acquaintance, or stranger.
The best we can do is listen to their experience and share our own, if they are willing to hear it.